I feel a bit of a deviant, a deviant from the norms of social expectation. I was always a rebel; no really – I asked, “Why?” way too much. Down to my core I challenge the definition of a homemaker.
Yet, here I stand with my hands in dough, canning preserves, growing a garden, clearing brush, caning chairs, sewing curtains, and brewing herb teas to fight of illness.
I am at this place now because I want to stand as a buffer between the consumer driven culture and my family. I am interested in ecological sustainability, social justice, community engagement, and a healthy family. I want to change the world. I just want to start in my smallest world believing that it will ripple out into my community, my city and into the wider world.
I am a woman with post-college degrees who has chosen my views of the value of family over advancing professionally and making more money. I am neither liberal nor conservative. I am a feminist – a radical feminist. It isn’t right or wrong. It is a choice I made based on my values. I didn’t expect to be figuring out how to make bagels. I’m surprised at what this process has led to and I’m surprised it suits me.
I stand with my homemade goat’s cheese and my homemade crackers and my strawberry preserves next to a counter cleaned by a homemade cleaner and look out past my garden to my compost pile and the beam the boys and I used last fall to flesh a deer to make buck-skin and I feel like I’m doing good in their lives and mine.
I’m learning to move past the fear of not having accomplished anything, not having a formal job title, of making things from scratch, and most importantly a fear of failure. I am finding peace the way that children become normalized in a Montessori classroom – through a routine of working with the hands.
I’m committed to slowing down. Dough has to rise you know. It isn’t instant.
I’m committed to talking. Specifically, I’m committed to forming friendship with others whether our barber around the corner or other women in Charleston.
I’m committed to less. I keep a box by the door that goest to Goodwill regularly. I buy less and less.
I’m committed to non-prepackaged foods. If there are more than five ingredients, I’m not buying. It doesn’t lend well to couponing, but it lends to healthy bodies.
I’m committed to buying from local folks first.
I’m committed to enjoy who I am in the moment that I am living. I don’t want to stare at the possibilities of the future and miss the now.
I’m a homemaker.